Just 'photoshop it'.

Death by a thousand cuts

Sometimes what starts as a great concept slowly becomes an idealess piece of miscommunication not even fit to be placed in free community press. A larger typeface here, italicized word there, slightly bigger logo, less image to make way for useless copy (demanded by legals), slight change to the headline, decision to go stock shot and not pay a photographer etcetera etcetera. It’s known as ‘death by a thousand cuts.’ But, this doesn’t just apply to the concept itself, it also reflects what happens to a team’s enthusiasm for a project…and I’m talking about all involved agency-side.

The brief

Emotional status: Optimistic

All involved are generally enthused; sometimes you even see genuine passion. They’re all looking forward to working on something new (no matter how big or small), and want to crack the brief with an impressive, original solution.

Post-Presentation

Emotional status: Relief

Post-presentation, confidence remains that the concept will be produced, un-harmed. Tough questions have been fielded, and answered. The client seems happy, so commonly agency staffers head to the pub, relieved.

Revision 1

Emotional status: cooperative

Some changes are conceded, others are fought for. All in all, the concept remains intact, and an execution still to be proud of.

Revision 2

Emotional status: belligerent

The changes previously fought against, are back again. This time, they must be changed. This is the point in the process when all hell breaks loose in the agency. Lots of shouting, lots of fuck offs and lots of anger at the clients stupidity. This is the stage at which a suit should never, ever suggest a creative is being ‘precious’. And vice versa, a creative should never suggest the suit hasn’t gone into battle. This is where the idea is raped.

Revision 3

Emotional status: disbelief

This round, the changes defy logic. All involved are stunned, literally. You’ll often hear cautiously stated “Is this a joke?”.

Revision 4

Emotional status: apathetic

The changes being requested now are simply outrageous. But given the idea was destroyed two versions ago, fighting against these changes (usually from a client’s legal department) is futile, and a waste of energy. “Fuck it. Just give them what they want”.

Despatch

Emotional status: disgust, yet some what liberated

“Get this fucking piece of shit out of my sight. It’s embarrassing, and I rather forget the whole sorry episode. And no, I'm not putting my signature on it."

The sting

Just when you managed to file the memory under ‘suppressed’, a strange sickness comes when you’re chatting to a friend and they say “Hey, I saw a Brand X ad the other day, is that one of yours?”

Working in, not commenting on

There’s a shit-heap of great ad commentary blogs out there, a few I’ve listed in my links on the right. There’s also a fuckload of shit ad commentary blogs out there…those I haven’t listed. Not to say if you have a blog and it’s not there then it’s shit – send it to me.

However, I’d like to draw the attention of my very few readers to the following blogs that brilliantly and humorously, in most parts, record the vagaries of life within an advertising agency. Check them all out, and be sure to go back regularly…

the advertising agency
why advertising sucks

And a relatively new blog that combines commentary with an insight into agency life, that I’m hoping will do more of the later…

scamp

For the best of both worlds, be sure to visit…

Adverb

Chit chat - CD & Suit

CD and Senior Suit are sitting around shooting the shit until it’s an acceptable hour to leave and head for the pub (11am). The big presentation is over, a three week lead up of late nights is now in the past and they are enjoying a well-deserved respite...at least until the client comes back in a day or so and inevitably shit-cans the work.

CD – Sometimes I think our industry should be unionised.

Suit – I don't.

CD – That’s because you’re a suit.

Suit – Fuck off, over-rated colouring-in boy. Why should we be? Give me an example.

CD – Ok. We’ve worked our asses off for three weeks, way beyond our contract hours, and what do we get? No overtime, nothing, not a fucking single cent more.

Suit – Well, last year you got a trip to Hawaii to say thanks. I seem to remember I got fuck all.

CD (ignoring the hole exposed) – Exactly, you got fuck all. You should be pissed.

Suit – I tell you what I got. I got to keep a six figure salary mate. I got to stay within the top 5% of the highest-income earners in this country. What I didn’t get was some fucked award overtime-rate to accompany an even more fucked standard hourly-rate…what you seem to be arguing for.

CD – You’re missing the point.

Suit – Am I?

CD – You are.

Suit – OK, so you’re deluded and still seem to think you’re right. Hit me with another example.

CD – Sure thing, bagman. If we worked in retail, for example, and were forced to do horrendous overtime without being remunerated, we’d have the right to strike.

Suit – You’re clutching at straws.

CD – Bullshit. I’m saying we’d have a legal right to strike, and still keep our jobs.

Suit – Let me remind you of your behaviour over the last few weeks. I can count on two hands the number of times you refused to accept anyone else’s opinion, typically proceeded to then abuse someone and finish by walking out of the office.

CD – Yeah, but…

Suit – Hold on, let me finish. You’d then return 3 hours later, drunk and even more obnoxious. You also ended up getting you way. I’d say that counts as going on ‘strike’, just an immature version…like the little boy who picked up his ball and went home because he didn’t want to play anymore.

CD – Can you fucking blame me? I’ve got you’re fucking team of poodles suggesting harder retail, a junior writer who’s quite frankly illiterate, a coked-up Art Director and no other resources I could pull onto this job.

Suit – I didn’t say I blame you. I just said you striked.

CD – Which should be a legal option under those circumstances.

Suit – Maybe, but certainly not arriving back pissed and operating heavy-software. You wouldn’t get away with that in the factory.

CD – See you agree.

Suit – Agree with what?

CD – You just agreed I should have the right. Proves my point.

Suit – No I didn’t.

CD – I win. Thanks. We should be unionised.

Suit – You’re full of shit. You always fucking twist people’s words to support your argument, then refuse to discuss it further.

CD – That’s why I’m CD.

Outta touch

This is the governments understanding of what kids these days are into...so too many marketers.