Round and round we go

Client - "Can we centre the text please"

AM - "AD, Client wants to centre the text"

AD - "Fuck off"

AM - "Ah, hello Client, AD said it's outside of your corporate ID"

Client - "OK. That's fine, I appreciate AD's concern. On this occasion though, I want the text centred"

AM - "As long as you're aware we're not recommending it"

Client - "I take full responsiblity"

AM - "AD, I spoke with the client, they want the text centred"

AD - "Fuck off"

AM - "Client knows its outside of the guidelines, but accepts responsiblity for it"

AD - "I don't care about the fucking guidelines, it just looks shit"

AM - "Hi Client, it's me again. AD tried the text centred, but it ended up clashing with the overall aesthetic of the piece."

Client - "Just send it through, I'll be the judge of that"

AM - "Ahh, sure. I'll need to get clearence from our GAD. We don't usually send things we don't recomend.

Client - "Just make it happen"

AM - "GAD, Client wants text centred. AD says it looks fucked. Client doesn't care - can you help"

GAD - "Is this outside of guidelines?"

AM - "Yes"

GAD - "Tell them to get fucked"

AM - "Ah, I did, sort of. But they accept responsibility"

GAD - "OK then, I'll talk to AD"

AM - "Thanks"

GAD - "AD - why won't you change this?"

AD - "It looks fucked, but I was also having too much fun giving AM the shits"

GAD - "Just change the fucking thing will ya."

AD - "OK, I'll speak with CD

AD - "CD, GAD wants this changed"

CD - "Fuck Off"

AD - "GAD wants it changed though"

CD - "Well GAD can get fucked, it's outside of the corporate guidelines"

AD - "I know, but AM checked with Client, and Client accpets responsibility"

CD - "I don't give a fuck, we're not changing it, it looks shit'

AD - "Fine, you tell GAD"

CD - "GAD, this is not going to happen. Tell AM and Client to fuck off"


And so it goes. On and on. Round in circles. Useless arguments. Wasted time. Egos to massage. Advertising is full of it.

A worthy contribution

Today I spent around 20 minutes devising an argument as to why an animated confectionery product, when personified, shouldn't appear too human. The argument was contributed to by many colleagues. In total, I'd say about 1.5 hours of collective time was incurred prior to a response being given to the client.

On the train home I started to think about how frivolous, rather superfluous, were many of the issues my intellectual rigueur had been applied to today. This reminded me of a quote I came across early last year. To whom I can attribute it, I don't know - but I don't claim it as my own...

"Chess is the single biggest waste of intellectual ability outside of an advertising agency"