First Impressions

Day 1 – Orientation

Fridge healthily stocked with beer (stocko and premium), wine, champagne, caffeine and juice. Nice.

Kitchen stocked with said beverages in warm state. Nice, I value foresight.

Day 1 – Parma

Quality parma within 100 metres of office (what’s with establishments that don’t consider ham to be an essential ingredient for a quality parma? All too common if you ask me).

Day 1 – Office Manager

Office Manager provides detailed explanation of a friend’s plight. In short, Friend attends Derby Day, meets boy, engages in intimate contact. Friend breaks out with rash around the mouth, visits doctor. Doctor requests Friend come in regarding results of tests. Friend arrives, finds Police are present. Doctor explains rash consistent ONLY with people who sleep with the dead. Police delve deeper. Friend assists and Police discover the boy works in a morgue. Police proceed to press charges...

Day 2 – Client (s)

I meet 7 of the 35 strong Marketing team. At this stage, only two have proved to be simian in nature.

Day 2 – 4:45pm

Senior Art Director approaches fridge, and politely enquires as to anyone’s interest in a beverage. There is no immediate response, so Senior Art Director states “You know I don’t mind drinking by myself”.

First impressions? I may just fit in here...