Mixing alcohol & clients

Again, another lax day in the Agency for moi. I must remember to congratulate the Business Development Manager on the sterling job he’s doing.

Between arriving this morning, checking emails, a leisurely stroll up to the patisserie and preparing myself for a parma and two pints, I received four email invitations to client Christmas parties – and we’re still only in the lead-up to cup week.

In anticipation of the upcoming and inevitably awkward conversations with drunk Marketing Managers, I think it's prudent to now remind myself of the indispensable advice my first MD kindly bestowed upon me when I arrived fresh-faced and eager from Uni.

MD (serious, American accent): If there’s three Golden Rules with clients in advertising son, it's these:

1. If you can’t hold your piss, reconsider your career choice, and in the meantime, don’t drink anymore than what’s simply courteous.

2. If you can hold your piss, never EVER drink faster than the client. They’ll either think you’re a typical alco advertising wanker, or feel like a soft-cock in comparison.

3. If you’re with a client, don’t know what you’re talking about and are simply show-casing your ability to memorise and regurgitate the jargon you picked up at university, then shut the FUCK up.

ME (graciously): Fancy a beer?

We then adjourned to the beer garden next door where the MD continued to mentor me and provide further invaluable advice - but that's a story for another time.